Heart Broken

Heart Broken

Isabella at 12
Isabella at 12

 

I’m Heart Broken.

I look for you and you’re not there.

I look, I open the door and it is empty.

Were you a dream that I woke up from?

I miss my baby.

I miss you today and every day that I awaken.

Why this path, why this agony, why this brokenness of spirit?

Why this test, why this test oh God?

Freedom Is Not Free

jorge r gonzalez photography

Freedom Is Not Free

 

jorge r gonzalez photography

 

Words can grab your attention, drive you, move you and possibly change you. That is what the above images writing has done for me.

On a recent trip to the capital of this incredible country that we call America, I experienced many moving moments, images and feelings. I don’t know if could truly

put down in writing that which I felt while visiting places like the Viet Nam Veterans Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial,  the Holocaust Museum, the World War II

Memorial, Arlington Cemetery  and this place the Korean War Memorial.

Every where I turned there was a symbol, as statue, a memorial to the price of freedom and a reminder that truly Freedom is not Free. The men and women that

shed their blood and gave their lives to pay the price which buys us the liberty of expression, the opportunity to pursue a life of freedom payed the ultimate price,

and we as a nation are forever indebted to them. And me as a man I’m also indebted to them. Without their sacrifice I couldn’t possibly experience the richness of

the life that I enjoy today.

It had been 40 years since I had visited Washington D.C. And in that time many things have come and go in this country and in my life. College, Marriage, Births,

Mexico, and Christ have molded me, shaped me and turned me into the man that I’m today. And yet through out those milestones in my life I never truly understood

what an incredible blessing it has been to be able to grow up in such an amazing place like this country is. Yes many times I have heard of the soldiers, and

the stories of what they did but sometimes things need to bite you where it hurts for you to awaken to the reality of your life and those things that bring it to

existence. That in a sense is what happen as I walked among the names of fallen boys no older than my own sons. As I walked in the dark rooms of the Holocaust

Museum reading of the atrocities that the fascist, demonic nazis carried on innocent men, women and worst children, while the speakers shouted the speeches that

drove so many to follow an abomination to humanity that should have been aborted in his mothers womb. Entering that stock railroad car that would have been

used to transport  hundreds of living, innocent people to a place where they would be treated like rats needing extermination.

Looking back at that first visit years ago to Washington only the great monuments where there except for Arlington Cemetery. It was a naive visit, of a young man

without understanding. A tourist with his family looking at the museums without any deep thought of what was truly there. Yet in those days the gut wrenching

memorials where still in the mind of artists, not yet carried out and placed in a permanent state of visual expression. I was not ready then but I was ready now to be

moved, to be touched both mentally and emotionally. My God! It was all I could do to keep myself from crying as I read about the twins from the Roma couple that

where used for experimentation at the Holocaust Museum. I definitely feel changed, desiring to help my fellow man more than ever before. I’m inspired,

stirred and with a new sense of desire to create, to explore and to live with a full understanding that I must use every minute that has been bought for me by the

sacrifice of others especially and above all Christ.

We this hunger to fulfill my purpose if it could be called that I feel that my work needs to change, be transformed and taken to the place of true artistic expression.

Pure in purpose, pure in motive, and leaving superficial monetary gains totally by the way side. No longer will I pursue the gaining of a payment without a

sense of emotional and intellectual gain.

This will be a year of Strength, a year of Knowledge and a year of Gain.

Freedom Is Not Free.

Fine Art Wedding Photography: The Wedding I Never Shot

Fine Art Wedding Photography: The Wedding I Never Shot.

Medium Format Film Photography

A few months back I had the pleasure to be invited to attend as a guest a wedding for a family member. I took the opportunity to bring along my Mamiya C220 Medium Format Film camera and five rolls of Kodak Portra 400 film. Since I was not officially the photographer for the event, hence the title of this post, I had the freedom to shoot without needing to abide to a specific shoot list. I used an old  Gossen Lunasix light meter to measure existing light. I was giving this camera by a very kind man with the an old camera case and also a Sunpack 522. The wedding ceremony was held outside around 5:00pm which for South Florida in November is ideal time to get the most beautiful light. I hope you enjoy some of the images that came out of those five rolls of film.

Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

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Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

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Medium Format Film Mamiya c220 Fine Art Wedding Photography

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But seek ye first the kingdom of God

miami wedding photographer

But Seek Ye First the Kingdom

For this coming year, I will place this passage as an anchor for my decision making, especially verse 33 and I will not allow the cares of life move me from serving Him with all of my heart, mind and soul.
24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Matthew 6:24-33 KJV

Daddy’s Little Girl: She is growing up fast

Isabella at 12
Isabella at 12

 

James 4:14 “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

It seems like only a few days ago that I was rocking her to sleep telling her stories that not only put her to sleep but also the story teller. Holding her bottle and telling of imaginary kings and princess in far away lands. How quickly life really moves past you and if you’re not fully awake you will look back one day and ask yourself were did it all go. This image was captured just 8 months ago.

Stop Growing!!!!! It’s what my heart is crying out, be my little girl once again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

portrait portrait portrait portrait portrait miami miami miami miami miami miami 

A Beautiful Day, A Blessed Life.

A Beautiful Day, A Blessed Life.

Just read a bit about the photographer Jen Burgess Thompson [here is link to her blog] and her battle with cancer. It touched my heart to read her story and view the images of her fight and her beautiful family. It was sad to read that she didn’t make it to the end. Sadder still that she will not see her boys become men. She will miss so much, the grand kids, the hugs, the kisses and the beautiful days to come. Her family will also miss her. She is in the hands of a merciful God right now even though we might question his will in all of this in but everything does work out for those that love the Lord. She is in  a better place now. God will strengthen, God will light the way. Take sometime and follow the link and read the life of a beautiful human being.

I guess this is a follow up post to Stopping Life: Images of my world. We need to stop and truly appreciate every single minute given to us by the Lord. As it was preached last night in our Youth Service we have very little time, life is but a vapor. It is difficult if not impossible to grasp or hold a vapor. Sure we can bottle it up but it will have chemical changes it will not be the same, besides life is meant to be lived not just contemplate or meditate on. I have an issue with religious movements that just want to sit and meditate while life passes them by. The orders have not changed we are still supposed to be dressing the garden, living life to the fullest, making a difference in the world that surrounds us. Every day needs to be lived like it might be your last, every day is a beautiful day no matter what might be surrounding you.

Below just a few images from my world hope you enjoy and leave a comment.

And to you Jen, I thank you.

 

 

Cousins

 

Peek a Boo

 

Father and Son

 

Friend

 

Generations

 

Caring

 

Hope

 

 

A Portrait of a Young Woman

A Portrait of a Young Woman
A Portrait

 

Sometimes there are images that keep bringing you back to them. You can’t seem to get away, if you believe in  such things as ghosts you would say that they haunt you. I don’t believe it that way but still this image keeps showing up every time that I’m looking at the Lightroom gallery in which it is placed. It just pops back at me, maybe is the color palette that it has maybe is the veil, I’m not sure but here it is a simple portrait. If we were to analyze the image we would find that certain elements are at play. First the eyes are not staring at the viewer so there is a sense of detachment from the subject. Second the color is to me at least flowing in the image, working its way around moving your eye back and forth. And last the brick reddish background keeps pulling the eye of the viewer towards the face which is framed by it.

Your thoughts?

 

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Stopping Life: Images of my World

miami family portrait photography by jorge r gonzalez photography
Jonathan, Brandon and Tarzan by Jorge R Gonzalez

Images from my world: Sometimes as photographers we get so focused on assignments and working to keep the bills payed that we stop looking at our on lives for the images that one day will bring memories to us.

We forget the reason that we originally picked up a camera, which at least to me was to capture rectangles of my life. I loved the quick drawing of the things that surrounded me, as Henry Cartier Bresson would say in his later years that was what photography was for him. He was known for capturing the “decisive moment”, that moment that wouldn’t been seen ever again. Those flickers of light where everything was in place to frame that second that later would become eternal for the memory.

Life goes fast, maybe as fast as the speed of light. You blink and it’s gone, no turning back there is no rewind, no pause button in life. It is constant the movement forward, never backwards. The only thing that we have that comes close to be able to pause this spinning into the future is our memories of past events. But as we grow older it becomes harder to tap into those memories, the layers build up and it’s not as easy as before to recall our youth, our life moments.

That is the greatness of photography, like nothing else in the world it is wonderful tool, medium to use for recording those flickers of light full of details. Those moments that will not be here again. I will use the image above to illustrate this point: It is a simple image  of three young men waiting to leave for Church on a Sunday afternoon like many other Sunday afternoons. Yet this moment has not been repeated again and it might not they way things have turn out. Now you might say what does it matter, well to one of these young man every time that he will see this image it will remind him of that afternoon when he gave a Bible study to Tarzan as he is called because of his long hair. It will remind him of the burden that he felt in his heart to reach out and share something that is the most important thing in his life.   When he is old and in that place in his life that God has for him, he can recall this little moment by just looking at this simple image that his dad took of him and his friends.

I guess as I get older what once I took for granted is coming under a new light. Wisdom, I don’t know if that is what it is or maybe experiences that are driving me to not allow life to pass by without clicking away at it.

More to come later…

Jorge